Band Camp Quotes, 2013
by luckyducky193
Summary: The best moments from band camp 2013! :D


**[A/N] **So, this is exactly what is says on the tin. It's a collection of the best moments from my first year of marching band (Band camp 2013.) For reference, I play the trumpet. (Trumpet T5, to be exact.) I march with the Piscataway High School Superchiefs. Doc and Gorn are the names of our directors. (Short for Mr. Gornick and Dr. Sumner.) Rich is the trumpet instructor, Bo is low brass. (There are other instructors, just not named.) Nick and George are my friends; they're sophomores. And every year, we perform a completely _original _show.

Band Camp Quotes, 2013

Me: "Why are there three drum majors?"

Michael: "We're just that badass."

Nick: "Keep away from the mellophones. They're a funny bunch."

Gorn: "The third movement is mostly just the flutes and saxophones. Such a waste of perfectly good brass. And time."

Doc: "So, wait, you're both named Scott?"

Scotty & I: "Yes."

Doc: "And you're alternates?"

Scotty & I: "Yes."

Doc: "The only alternates in the whole band?"

Scotty & I: "Yes."

Doc: "Who the hell's idea was this!?"

Doc: (During dinner on the first night.) "You've worked hard, kids. You deserve this food. (Pause) Staff eats first!"

Me: "Why is Rich getting seconds before half the band has even gotten firsts?"

George: "Forget Rich. Gorn's already had fifths!"

Me (Limping): "I can't put weight on my left leg. I guess that means I can't march?"

Nick: "Yeah. Congratulations."

Me: "What for?"

Nick: "Getting to sit out."

Rich: "How did you hurt yourself? You were fine before dinner, I thought."

Me: "Remember when we first got to sections and half of us forgot our band stand music, and you said we had thirty seconds to get it and we should run?"

Rich: "Yeah."

Me: "I ran. And fell."

Rich: "I've seen all kinds of injuries at band camp. I collapsed of heat exhaustion during _my _sophomore year. And you're the first kid I've seen get hurt _off _the football field."

Bo (After we pranked the low brass section during sectionals.): And this is why the trumpets are bad, bad people, low brass. Stay away from them. Don't feed them. Their instructor is an asshole."

Me: "You know that stereotype that all trumpeters are arrogant and immature? Is that true for our trumpet section?"

Lauren: "Hell yes."

Anthony: "What're the trumpets wearing for sections day?"

Jason: "CAPES!"

Anthony: "Why is there a spirit week during band camp anyway?"

Rich: "Trumpets, assemble!"

George: "Why do we have a crazy hat day? We stomp around on a football field with fancy buckets and feathers on our head. How the hell do you get crazier than that?"

Doc: "Scott?

Scotty & I: "Yes?"

Doc: "The lime shirt one, I mean."

Scotty: "Yeah?"

Doc: "You left your flip in the hallway."

Scotty: "Okay."

Doc: "You need a nickname. Or at least one of you does."

Scotty: "Uh…"

Doc: "I'll call you Scotty-Lime!"

Anthony: "Sounds like a specialty drink."

Lauren: "Scotts."

(Silence)

"Scott and Scotty."

(Silence)

"SCOTT SQUARED!"

Scotty & I: "Yes!?"

Scotty: "So, we have to go from two off the forty yard line to the fifty in eight counts, turn around at the fifty, and go backwards until the thirty-five in another eight counts, stop and double-time backwards to the front hash?"

Rich: "Yeah. It's just a follow-the-leader, really. Just follow George."

Scotty: "And this is all physically possible?"

Rich: "Yep."

Rich: "Scotty, how big are your feet?"

Scotty: "Huh?"

Rich: "What size shoe do you wear?"

Scotty: "Six."

Rich (Laughing): "That's tiny! Wait… Scott, what size shoe are you?"

Me: "…Uh… three."

Rich: "Are you kidding me! I was a size eight in my freshman year!"

Flutists: "Bee!"

Rich: "Calm down, it's just a bug."

Brian (Running a good twenty yards away from the flutes): "Where is it!?"

Rich (Laughing): "You're really afraid of a bee?"

Brian: "Hey! I'm really allergic. (Pause) Dad, you should know that!"

Gorn: "Sorry, kid."

Doc (As Brian's wife and 2 or three year old son approach): "Aw, look, it's Gorn Jr."

Me: "Well, technically, he's Gorn the third. Brian is Gorn Jr."

The Saxophones (Concerning a possible water break): "I don't need it. I don't need it."

Doc: "What?"

Full Band: "I don't need it! I don't need it!"

Doc: "What're you saying?"

Full Band & Instructors: "I DON'T NEED IT!"

Doc: "Fine, jeez! Have a water break!

Full Band & Instructors: "I NEED IT!"

Trumpet Section: "F is for friends who do stuff together! U is for ukulele!"

Rich (Suddenly): "N is for anywhere and anytime at all!"

Trumpet Section & Rich: "Here in the deep blue sea!"

Gorn: "'Cause it's the last day, you guys can have an extra little water break."

Trumpet Section: "He must _really _like me!"

Noel: "Because I'm a senior and I'm leading warm-ups today and I'm a dick, you all can do an extra lap today!"

Rich (Running alongside us during laps): "Run faster! No wonder you all suck at marching. You're a bunch of pansies!"

Full Band (While marching set & humming music.): Do do doo do do doo do do do do dododo doooo! (Pause) TROMBONE SOLO!"

Rich: "What's the show called this year?"

Doc: "Metallurgy."

George: "Metal orgy!?"

Doc: "Metallurgy, the study of metals. You know, because the movements are all named after metal properties."

Gorn: "Except for the third one, soft metal. A huge waste of a good brass section, if you ask me."

Doc: "But Hard, Cool and Heavy Metal are all practically trumpet and low brass solos."

Gorn: "What, you're jealous of us? I played the trumpet in my day, that's a good instrument. Not you and your hokey clarinet."

George: "Hash tag team trumpet!"

Rich: "No more damn porpoise jokes! It's _purpose, _NOT porpoise!"

Jason: "Don't worry Rich. Apparently, this is a marching band thing."

Doc (Referring to the freshmen): "Kill them before they multiply!"

George: "I think Rich is dead."

Nick: "What? Just eat your dinner."

Me: "Hah, he does look dead. He must've fallen asleep."

Nick: "Is he alive?"

George: "Poke him with a stick!"

Michael (During lunch): "Rich, where're you going?"

Rich: "To Chipolte."

Trumpets: "Take us with!"

Rich: "Bye, guys."

Trumpets: "DON'T LEAVE US!"

George (As it begins to rain): "It's rainin' men!"

Trumpets: "Hallelujah, it's rainin' men!"

Me: "The only way it would end up raining men is if Rich throws army men at us or if the drum line is sucked up by a tornado."

Nick: "It's sections day. For most of us, the theme varies. The drum line drops down to their underwear every year. I'd advise you don't make eye contact with them at all today. Last year, Noel wore some polka-dot speedo. This year, it'll probably be lace panties."

Mike: "Ain't no party like a sousaphone party!"

Gorn: You don't even play the sousaphone!"

Trumpets (To Gorn): "Don't you want me baby!?"

Gorn: "No."

Brian: "It was determined before I was born that I would play the trumpet.

Gorn: "It's true. When my wife told me she was pregnant, I said to her: 'it's gonna be a trumpeter.'"

Me: "And the flutes are screaming again."

Nick (Mouth full of food.): "Hey, George, would you look at that?"

Me: "George killed a hooker!?"

George: "I killed a what!?"

Scotty: "Why can't we buy hotdogs while we're in the stands?"

Gorn: "You're in uniform and, gee whiz, you're PLAYING THE TRUMPET!"

Rich: "Besides, when I was a freshman, they allowed us to buy hotdogs. I got sick from one once. I nearly puked in a tuba."

Gorn: "How the hell do you almost puke in a tuba?"

Nick: "First rule of marching band: Bo is a ninja."

Me: "I don't see how that effects anything."

Nick: "You'll see."

Me: "Isn't that sort of racist?"

George: "Meh."

Nick: "Watch the color guard. They'll attack you with flags and rifles."

Me: "Not real ones, right?"

Nick: "Maybe."

Lauren: "You are kind of creepy, Rich."

Rich: "No I'm not."

Me: "You are."

Rich: "What!? You haven't even heard my jokes!"

Me: "I just get the impression that you are."

Rich: "Gee, real nice. I can fail you, you know."

Me: "This isn't a class."

Rich: "Shit."

Niall: "Jason is pretty much legally allowed to do whatever the hell he wants."

So that's about it. If I think of any more, I'll make sure to add it. Thanks for reading!


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